Selfish Dreams
by Crimson Hero Writer
Summary: Trigger Warning! Hello Reader. This story is about two people growing up through tough times. A story of my selfish dreams. My dream of a childhood best friend. A story I hope can bring people to reality. It's a dream so of course its be Sun Shine at time, but I need to let the other side in. . .the Rain Clouds. A impact that changed me and this piece is the result. Thank you.
1. Chapter Null-Vold

Ch_pt_r V_oD- Au_Hor_s D_sir_s?

**(I don't own Doki Doki Literature Club or any characters affiliated with DDLC)**

_Writing my own story again. First its the Hyper Dimension Neptunia about a flamng hero and now a Doki Doki Literature Club one about her? No. . .this is different. It's not just some pervert's fantasy. I plan to write something within me. Please reader. . .give me a chance. This will be my last hope. . .before insanity finally takes control. I wish to write my own selfish dream. I might call it that. Let's get the pen moving now into the past._

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It was twelve years ago when I was in elementary school. My neighborhood was quiet and filled with beautiful forestry. People kept to themselves as they worked day by day. Everyone got along and the kids were playing everyday after school. I was one of the kids that just watched,except when I went on my 'adventures'. I have messy, short dirty blonde hair and wear baggy clothes. I have a scar on my forehead from when my head got bash in the sink. My eyes are brown with me being on the skinny side. I have big hands and feet for a six year old.

I played outside whenever my father wasn't around. He wasn't a fan of me interacting with the other kids. He doesn't work due to his 'problems' I have no clue what that even means. It was fun playing baseball once in a while. I never liked those kind of sports all that much. I was more into martial arts. My father has me do karate classes. He said it's one of the building block towards being a man. I wanted to learn so I could fight like my favorite heroes. I adore the idea of being a hero. I like walking around the park and just getting away since I was always cooped up at home.

It honestly makes me sad I can't enjoy any of this. The one time I played baseball was cool though. I can never do anything. I'm always told what to do. Its so stupid. I feel like a rebel whenever I leave my house. I complain to myself as I go to my favorite park. It has a full playground of slides,swing sets,jungle gyms and anything else you would find in a huge park. It's a normal sunny day out. Trees looking beautiful as usual. People are walking their dogs and no one to nag me. I want to explore like a kid should. I look at the pond in front of me with a frown.

"I see I'm sad again. . .Why can't I just be happy like the other kids?" I thought on this a lot. I tried my best to just be a good kid. I have nothing to worry about and no responsible to attend to. Its what my parents tell me anyways. I splash the water around. It feels really cold and refreshing.

"So pretty and clean." I laugh under my breath in joy and get up to look at the sky. The pond is comforting to look at. Its so clear and pretty. I walk around some more after a few seconds pass. I jumped for a second when I thought I saw something different. I look again.

I can't help but notice something different. Someone new here? This small town barely get new people. Not at this time of year at least. People usually leave for vacation around this time. It just caught my eye for a second. You rarely see a some with that hair color. Pink?, no its not the right shade. Its just a weird shade of pink. It's like a color of a coral. I shake my head and go on with my walk. She looked like my age. I didn't even get to see her face. I just knew she's a girl. She looks like a girl from school. I wonder if I'm going to see her at school tomorrow.

I shake relentless as I open the door of my house. It seems peaceful as usual till I gently open the door. I'm back home with my dad in my face. His breath smells of the usual bud light he drinks. I hope I never drink. Short saggy blonde hair and fat due the all the bread he drank. He wears white t-shirts and jeans. He is rather tall, like over six feet I think. I don't know right now. I'm too scared to move as I'm usually am in these situations. I always try to think what my favorite heroes would do in times like these. The red faced man is about to blow up.

"The hell you doing out again!?" Here we go again. Brace for impact. A punch right to the gut as I fly to the wall. I just stare at him. How has child service not do anything? He got to be pretty smart I guess in a way. He picks me up and drags me to my room and locks it. I say nothing as usual. I got to be Mommy's hero. I must be like the heroes for Mommy. She needs her little man she tells me everyday with a smile.

"You can stay there tonight punk! You seriously need to learn your place boy." He stated with rage as I hear his footsteps slowing getting quieter. I pull out my hand held console my mom got me a year ago as a get well gift when I broke my forearm. I hear the lock click as I was playing some role playing game. A woman of middle age comes walking in radiantly. She has long dyed red hair and holding some hot delicious food. Mommy is one heck of a saving grace. She comes to me with a gentle smile. She is honestly the angel here in this bad world.

"You must be starving." She has a bright smile as she looks at me. I look at the plate, grab the food and eat like a mad man. I didn't even let her finish. I just hear a cute laugh coming from her It was my favorite plate of grilled chicken and mac'n cheese. A simple as things should be. I look at my mom's hazel eyes. They're so pretty just like a angel. It's sad mom has to go through this as well.

"You're so cute when you eat Sota. Did you go out again Sota?" I nodded with a smile. She is mad again I'm sure. I can't help that I'm curious. I just want to know Mommy. She gives me the good'ole mommy eyes. I knew I was in it for the scolding.

"You know you can't do that." I shake my head. It's so dumb to be locked up all the time. I guess kids have to listen to their parents, but this feel like prison. I give my mommy the best fire-eyed look I can give her.

"I wanna mommy. They never let me do anything." I point at the door in anger. She puts her hand on my shoulder. I saw a tear come down her face. It hurts seeing that. I can't even think whenever I see mommy cry.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could do more." I give her a hug and look at her. I don't understand why nothing as changed. Something will shine mommy says. She has been through enough to say its true from what grandma told me.

"You do everything mommy. I love you!" I just don't want to see her sad. It hurts too much. She is the only light I see. Its sad that she works during the day. We hold each other for a while. She finally lets go and looks at me with her smile. She perked up quickly.

"We got new neighbors and they have a kid. I think you should try to introduce yourself while you're on your adventure. Its a girl hun." Mom just has a joy ride over this. I just sigh and shake my head. I'm a little kid. I care about my pocket console, the park and Mommy's cooking. That's it. Girls are far too confusing for me.

"Why I care about that mommy? Girls are rather weird anyways." Honestly too young to care. I give my mom a blank stare. I knew I had to do it. She keeps that smile going. It's her of having me try to be kind and open to people.

"I guess I can check her out mom. I'm sure she can use a friend." My mom shows me a big smile and taps my head. She always pushes me to make friends with new people. She calls it punishment for escaping the house. I wanted to know about her anyway. I need to confirm what I saw at the park.

"I'm glad. Now please sleep. School don't get canceled because you want to play video games." Saying that and she leaves, locking the door behind her. In my box again. I never bother to talk about this. Concrete is boring to talk about. Its a blank room. I'm not aloud to have stuff that stands out, but this pocket console is awesome. I play till late in the night and pass out with it in my hand. There goes the batteries. I wake up on time despite the late night gaming. I'm glad for father in a way. He is so loud with his drinking before work.

I wish I can just understand, but I don't know adult problems. I just need some school breakfast now. I get on the bus. Mom was right about the new neighbor. I notice two different cars next to our house. I see the weird pink object again, well I know its a girl now. She seems sad unlike what I felt at the park. She has semi long hair down past shoulders. Most girls have hair that long though. She has a rather cute pink shirt and a light blue skirt. I guess I will have a reason to go out today. I'm not going to bother now. Too hungry to be honest. All of us kids get off the bus and we all get our breakfast. Cheap and tasteless, my favorite. New girl is by herself. Here comes my instinct kicking in.

I walk towards the new girl, who is all alone. Should be easy enough. I sit next to her with my crappy breakfast and eat away. She seems to not even notice me. She eating in a rather somber way. She stops eating for a second and turns her head. She looks at me with a bright smile. Whoa! I got to shield my eyes for a second. It's really cheerful. So different from the look on the bus. How the heck is she doing that?

"Good morning. How you doing this morning?" Really polite and sweet. Why girls got to be like that? She was brighter then usual though. I look at her sky blue eyes. Its like looking into the pond at the park. This is bad sign. I'm not suppose to be thinking that. This girl is a alien! I'm such a nervous wreck right now. I try to just look at her face, but its so. . ._cute__._

"Oh! Good mornin' to ya. I'm fine I suppose and you?" I hope I get better at talking to girls. They are so weird but pretty. I can't get my head around them. She is making me so nervous. It's not normal in the slightest. What is all this in my head?

"I'm great!" She says with a lot of energy. I wish I could take some of that. I'm always tired. She just stares at me as my eyes open and close. I guess the gaming is catching up with me.

"You didn't sleep?". I nod my head. Dad was arguing with Mom all night. I'm a sensitive sleeper sadly. So a fly flying over my head could wake me up. I

"Too loud last night." I yawn with that respond. She hands me a chocolate chip cookie. The holy grail of foods for a kid like me. I look at her funny. She seems too nice. What does she want from me? I can't think of why she would be like that. It reminds me of Mommy though for some reason.

"Sweets always get me going, so here have one." Whoa again! This is awesome! Free cookie are the best. She give a smile as I take her cookie. Her smile sure is bright. I take a bite and let out a smile. She seems really chipper and she has the look to boot. It's just missing a bow and it be a gift of sweetness that I'm seeing before my child-like eyes.

"You seem to really like them! That's great!" She jumps for joys. Its gets the other kids staring,but she seems unnerved. The heck? She is my age. The heck is with this weird niceness thing going on. Too bright for me that's for sure. Are all kids this happy or is she just weird? I go with the ladder.

"They are amazing! I feel a bit better, but wasn't that yours?" Guilty at my age? I'm doomed. She is still giving me that smile.

"Yea, but you looked like you needed more than me." She stated in a rather sugary tone. Yep. She is weird as heck. I just jumped to me I need to ask her name.

"Thank you so much. So what's your name if I might ask?" Why did my spine get really cold all the sudden?

_It must begin now!. . .My selfish dream. . .It will come to life. . .Please release me from my insanity. . ._

"My name is Sayori" She stated in a usual calm tone. I felt a sudden surge of pain all over my body just after the fact. I feel my body breaking itself as I fall to the floor. Sayori come right to me and calls out the teachers. I got taken straight to the nurse's office. What was that? I heard extremely loud screaming when she just said her name. The literally hell does that mean. This is all too weird. It can't be that punch from yesterday. So what the heck caused it? I notice that pink hair girl next to me

"You're awake! You ok? you ok?" Sayori is almost bawling. My mommy is there as well. Sayori face is beyond frighten. My mommy looks like she just saw a ghost and I have a small girl yelling at me in fear. My mommy comes towards with a blank stare. She puts her hand on Sayori's head and her tears cease to exist. Magical Mom as its finest.

"You moving alright son?" She seems cold, but I know she means well as she takes my hand to help me up. Its really spinney and I fall on my mom. She holds me tight and walks me towards the door. She tries her best to walk me walk.

"I will take you home Sota." She looks at Sayori. "Thank you for taking care of my son. I should send him over sometime.I wish to meet your parents." Sayori jumps a bit as she rubs her eyes. She looks into my mommy's eyes the best she could. She feels pressured.

"Me-meet my parents?" My mommy shows her a big smile. She puts her hand on Sayori's tiny shoulder. She gives off a gentle smile to her.

"Of course dear. They are our new neighbors after all. I bet we all can have a big dinner." My mom always tried to meet every new neighbor. Her way of making people feel welcomed. She seems happier when new people show up. It's better than taking care of her family I suppose.

"I-I'm sure my parents would love to meet you." My mommy stops for one second as she looks at the little pink-haired girl.

"What's your name sweetie? Sayori looks right into her hazel eyes with a bright smile. Mommy returns the smile in full.

"Sayori is my name." She giving my mommy the best smile she can give. My mom tells her to get back to class so she can take me home to rest. Sayori gives my mommy one last smile back and goes on her way. I have a feeling that this meeting is going to change me forever. I can't understand any of this. What is going on? Is Sayori connected to this? Am I letting my imagination run wild? I'm sure I am. I really hope so. I want to be a kid for a while longer.

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_So It has begun reader. If you read this far, then that must mean you want more. If so I shall release my full story here and maybe another location. The world wide web is amazing that way. Sorry for the title. Its hard controlling this. _

_I'm not an professional,though its really nice. I like saying my piece to you. I like the wall we have. Its nice. I can be myself without worry. I'm not like her. . .I'm human. . just like you._


	2. Chapter A1 (Note)

**Chapter A1- My note to you, the reader**

Hello reader on the other side. Welcome to my mind and my story. I can imagine this is rather odd for you. I'm trying to talk to a 'real' person, but they can't respond. You could leave a comment on the story on the website this is on. I'm just writing this note to you as a start to my story. I'm not keen of writing at all, but life changing events have happened as thus this change came about. I have called this story of mine, _**Selfish dreams.**_

Don't worry about these chapters. I only plan to interrupt a few times at worse. I can't say the same about the Emerald Eyed Beauty. I can't say anything about her since I haven't thought that far yet. My associations with the Literature Club must bring her here within time. I guess I will explain some details of how this story will work. I will explain how it works on since its where its currently being published

This is a story about two clinically depressed children who grow up through the school years and grown inseparable. I know its a sensitive topic, but I just can't keep this in anymore. I have no clue how much traction this will get nor do I expect any honestly. I'm just a crazy man losing his sanity. I'm writing my selfish dream as my way to let it all out.

I will more then likely be saying some pieces in the story chapters. I will use _Italics on the top and bottom of the chapters.__ It will be underlined if it within the story bit of the chapter._ I will be giving Monika once she arrives the **Bold font. ****Her in story lines will be underlined just like mine.** Wall-breaking? Definitely, but I'm trying to put own spin on writing a story I suppose. I'm sure I can only do this with DDLC. I can't imagine me trying to do this with any other story. I feel it would lose its uniqueness, whether that's good or bad is your choice.

As I'm about to end our talk here I'm about to finally start our story. We all should keep a eye on Sota. . .he is the main character after all. Sayori sure will be changing things. I wonder if Monika is involved? I need to know that as soon as possible before anything happens. We will be spending about ten to fifteen chapters within the past. I'm sure I will be talking to you again as it's done.

_Thank you for looking in and attempting to understand. I hope you enjoy my tale as I try to write my way towards my **Selfish Dreams.**_


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